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The 2008 Republic of Swain

TOP TEN FIFTEEN AWARDS


It is my privilege to host the 2008 Republic of Swain Top Ten Fifteen Awards. (And it's my job to pick ten fifteen posts out of the multitudes of brains, baloney, bright ideas, and bull that we have produced over the last twelve months. In association with my own counting group, "Pratt, Probst, and Pocket Calculators" - I'll tally the votes - I've come up with my list. If you don't like it...tough. The Republic has spoken.

15. Joe Swain, July 31, "Thursday Night" - A quarter mile in 65 seconds and hearing from God.
14. Steven Pratt, August 28, "Quoting GW" - Steven quotes the Father of our Country.
13. Joe Swain, August 10, "Admittance Time" - Joe Swain talks about healing.
12. Steven Pratt, December 24, "Drinking The Eggnog" - Steven goes off on December25.
11. Joe Swain, July 27, "It's Sunday" - Joe asks some questions about the collection plate and Todd Bentley.

10. Joe Swain, June 4, "Discontent" - blah blah-Democrat, bleh bleh-Republican, I am voting for a 3rd party.
9. Joe Swain AND Reverend Bryce Calvin, late December, "I have something" and "How Ridiculous" - Joe and Bryce tag-team-slam what they consider a church with misguided priorities.
8. Steven Pratt, December 30, "here" - Steven posts the top ten fifteen posts of the year for the Republic of Swain.
7. Joe Swain, June 6, "Open Letter to Bob DeWaay" - Joe criticizes a critic of Rick Warren.
6. Joe Swain, July 1, "Stupid" - The first member of the Douchebag of the Week club.

5. Steven Pratt, September 23, "Presidential Debate Announcement" - Steven announces the four-week Republic of Swain Presidential Debates, and wonders about taking some advice from the now-VP-elect.
4. Steven Pratt, August 13, "I believe in Henley" - Steven goes off on all those people who mistake history for the will of the Almighty.
3. Joe Swain, June 21, "High School Reunion - Ugh" - Joe comes to the conclusion that life really revolves around high school.
2. Republic of Swain, October 13, "Republic of Swain Free For All" - Republic of Swain's high-hopes high-octane crossfire of questions.
1. Joe Swain, May 12, "Where To Begin" - Republic of Swain in a nutshell.

It's that time of year where awards, reviews and predictions happen. Here at the Republic, we are no different. It's time to hand out the douche bag of the year award.

While there are many worthy candidates to get the award, this guy earned it from day one. Not because he was the first one to receive it here, no because it truly takes a douche to do what this guy did.

Not only does he dress like a d-bag (link coming later) he acts like one. This guy has set the standard for the year end award.

Granted, his wife did leave him. And the place he was employed at did decide to move on. And I am still waiting on an email response from him.

But Todd, listen to me closely:

YOU DO NOT KNEE A MAN WITH STAGE 4 COLON CANCER IN THE STOMACH.

I, along with the majority of Americans with a brain, do not believe God told you to inflict pain on another human life. It's not biblical. Jesus never inflicted pain on someone when they needed to be healed. The disciples never inflicted pain when someone needed to be healed. What gives you the right to say they do?! Let allow carrying out your brutal assault, on live TV. Brilliant move.

I believe Todd, that God has yet to bring His harsh judgment against you. The pain you put that man through, the thousands you led astray with your "angel" worship, will only give the enemies of the church that much more power.

In closing, while this award has been given out a few times this year, Todd Bentley alone set the standard on why this award was given out. I pray that what he has done to damage the image of our Lord and Saviour will be quickly erased and true and pure healing will begin.

Ha ha ha! I LOVE this! How ridiculous for a church to embarrass itself in such a manner!  

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,469928,00.html

(Thanks, Joe, for touching base on this topic!) Churches aren't country clubs, where only the elite and flawless may join. Churches are places of hope, new beginnings, and fellowship. They accept all types in hopes of spreading the Gospel and furthering the word of God. What if EVERY church acted in this childish manner? Sinners would run rampant, seeking the places that accept them for who they really are: ugly, horrible, Godless heathens with ill conceived morals and questionable decision making skills. The strip club community would BOOM, and the porn industry would triple in size! Crime would increase and and the poverty level would rise so high that God himself would have to relocate his palace in the sky! After all, if your pastor says that God won't accept you, only a Crown and Coke and the warm embrace of a naked stripper's bosom may comfort.

Shame on Pastor Christmas. To COMPLETELY embarrass a member of his community simply to teach a lesson! To betray the trust they held in their mentors! How on Earth does he think that'll keep membership up? Would YOU wanna go to a church (remember, we are talking about these beautiful places of worship and learning built in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ) that made fun of you? That outed you for personal gain? That told you to tithe every Sunday and Wednesday, then told the congregation how much you suck? Oh, man. I wish I were of a member of this church, just so I could quit and tell EVERYONE how bass ackwards it was.

Thank you, Pastor Christmas.I hope someone finds out that you looked at your secretary's butt, or that you have more than one glass of wine when you get home after church, or you said a curse word after stubbing your toe while fumbling through the kitchen for a glass of milk at 2 in the morning. I hope they find out and they tell the ENTIRE church. I wish you could impeach a pastor...

In America, what is called the Christmas spirit should really be called "drinking the eggnog". Going along with the millions of fellow members of the economy and community.

American Christmas (which I will simply call December25) is not a celebration of the birth of Mary's boy child. It is a hodgepodge of centuries of tradition and American (consumerism / commercialism / materialism.)

I HATE DECEMBER25.

From the day after Thanksgiving to December25, we are prodded by our neighbors, friends, and especially family, to 'be in the Christmas spirit.' Which means shopping and decorating and traditions, most of which have very little to do with a stable in Bethlehem.

It is a solemn time. It is time to think of our fellow man. And to that end...SHOP! SHOP EARLY! GET THE DOORBUSTERS! Keep your fellow man in business by buying tons of stuff. Remember, consumer spending is 70% of your nation's economy. (However, now we're just keeping Wal-Mart in business because everything's actually made in China! Japan! Mexico!)
Got more presents for Suzie than for Johnny? Well, I guess you're going back to the mall to balance the piles of presents!

But...it's the holiday season. December25 is coming soon! And it's just not December25 without...(fill in the blank.... family!... in-laws!... the tree!... Santa!... Santa's milk and cookies!... Recording Christmas specials on tape!...)

Oh, and no December25 is complete without the good Dr. Christian whining and moaning about the Christmas Wars...evil retailers who won't mention Christmas. Who cares that the only thought of Christ is a token midnight mass at the end of the December25 season. No...if the retailer's won't mention Christmas...boycott!


I love a few things about Christmas. The lights. The spending time with the family. The creativity in decorating the family room.

But...the holiday of December25 has taken a life of its own. I don't even know whether what this holiday has become is worthy of its name, or of the distinction 'holiday.'

On behalf of the Republic of Swain, I wish you and yours a happy and reflective holiday, and a safe and prosperous new year.

Ok, really I have something this time. This time we visit Florida again. And this time its about the church, again.

Your reading assignment today...

Church publicly makes self look like an ass

I can pretty sum this up real quick like....who cares. Really? I mean so what if she decides to do that, it's not the place of a church to tell people what they can and cannot do with their private lives. I will be the first to admit that I have told the church about people and their private lives. And I was wrong, completely in the wrong.

Our focus as a church as a whole is so messed up. It's crazy. Instead of telling this woman that she is "in sin", why not show her love and let God and her work it out?

I feel it's not my place to say if what she is doing is right or wrong. In fact, why should we worry about what she is doing. Our focus should ALWAYS be about getting the lost. The way this church seems to be teaching, public humiliation for a sin is a little far fetch to say the least. I might be able to recall one time in which there was some sort of public humiliation for a sin from the Bible, but that resulted in the death of a man and wife (Acts 5....I kinda like this chapter don't I)

Ok, so I have criticized this group of idiots, what should the solution be? Get a hold of this woman before she "loses" her faith in Christ. Just because a church treats a person one way does not mean that all churches and christians are like that. We Christians, should rally around her and let her know it's ok to be human. We all make mistakes. It's up to her to figure out if what she is doing is a sin or not. Not my or you the reader place. It's not.

If we are ever going to see a "change" in the mind and heart of the church, we need to stop nitpicking at the littlest things that a "church member does" and get behind the important things...like feeding the poor and homeless, caring for the widows and orphans, being "Christ-like". Not what we, the American christian church has made it, self-absorbed and careless.

I have nothing new. No, really I don't.

Though I would recommend all to read "Jesus for President".

Do it, because you know you want too.